Covert Comic: Question Authority

We've all seen bumper stickers containing this famous phrase. And if you're like me, no doubt you're in awe of the type of intellect that could conceive of affixing such a bumper sticker (or any bumper sticker for that matter) to an actual bumper.

That said, the phrase 'Question Authority' does raise certain compelling issues. For example, where does one go to question authority? To whom, exactly, does one request to speak? More to the point, just what question or questions is one supposed to ask authority anyway?

To assist those who wish to question authority but aren't sure what to do, your humble intelligence officer, the Covert Comic (a cleared, fully authorized US Government official) has created the following document, Form 22C: Questioning Authority, which document provides all the information you'll need.

(Note: If you don't agree that Form 22C contains everything you need to properly question authority, it is suggested you fill out and submit a Form 22C detailing your particular question. Thank you.)

Form 22C:

Questioning Authority

Instructions ______________________________________________________

This form is provided, pursuant to Title CC Subsection 0.007 of the Federal Office of Authority, to persons wishing to question authority. The information collected in this form is used to determine the meaning and validity of your question(s) for authority. Follow the instructions provided in the form and answer all relevant questions. If you believe that a question is not relevant, answer it anyway. If you are unsure whether a question is relevant, you may submit a separate Form 22C. If you have questions or complaints regarding this Form 22C, you may fill out an additional Form 22C and attach it to this form, or to the Form 22C you are submitting regarding the relevancy of a question in this Form 22C. Submit one Form 22C for each question you wish to ask authority. Note: Do NOT submit multiple Form 22C’s in the same envelope.

Answer the questions below carefully. Warning - a false or truthful statement on any part of this form may be grounds for criminal prosecution (Title CC Subsection 0.007).

Section 1. Questioning Authority ________________________________________________________________

Reason(s) for Questioning Authority

Depending on your reasons for filling out this form, it may or may not be appropriate for you to fill out this form. Please answer the questions below in order to determine whether you actually have a need to question authority.

Please check only one of the following.

I am questioning authority because:

A. [ ] I wish to contest the right of those in authority to make decisions and dictate policies that affect my life and/or the lives of others

B. [ ] I wish to know who’s in authority

C. [ ] I wish to be told by those in authority what it is I’m supposed to do

D. [ ] I do not wish to question authority

If you checked D, you do not need to proceed further.

If you checked C, please proceed to Section 2, Question F. You will be contacted shortly.

If you checked B, you do not need to proceed further.

If you checked A, please proceed to Sections 2, 3, 4 and 6, and answer all questions completely. You will be contacted within the next few nanoseconds.

Privacy Act Statement ________________________________________________

The Federal Office of Authority is authorized to collect the information requested below in accordance with Title CC Subsection 0.007. If you have questions regarding the authority of the Federal Office of Authority to collect this information, please fill out Form 22C.

Public Burden Statement ______________________________________________

Public burden reporting for this document is estimated to vary from 0 to infinitely many minutes, including time for reviewing instructions, searching and gathering needed data, and being strip searched. Submit comments regarding burden estimate or any other aspect of this document to the Federal Office of Authority. Use Form 22C: Questioning Authority.

Section 2. General Information __________________________________________________________________

Before you question authority, authority has a few questions for you:

A. Full Name (First, middle, last)

B. Social Security Number (Enter a nine-digit number between 000-00-0000 and 999-99-9999 that describes how Socially Secure you feel at this moment)

C. Date Of Birth (MM/DD/YYYY. Provide all your dates of birth - past, present and future)

D. Place Of Birth (Include city, state, and city/state of mind)

E. Preferred Place Of Burial Or Cremation (Only for persons checking A in Section 1 above)

F. Phone Numbers At Which You Can Be Reached (Include area codes, not that we don't already know them)

G. What Is Your Precise Location Right Now? (Only for persons checking A in Section 1 above - not that we don't already know it)

Section 3. Questions About Your Question for Authority

__________________________________________________________________

Please answer all questions truthfully.

a. Do you like causing trouble? [ ] YES [ ] NO

b. Do you have a criminal record? Are you sure? Have you checked since you started filling out this form? [ ] YES [ ] NO

c. Do you have an aversion to deep, searing pain? [ ] YES [ ] NO

d. Have you ever seen the film Marathon Man? [ ] YES [ ] NO

e. Have you ever seen people in nursing homes? Did you know that some of those people are the same age as you? [ ] YES [ ] NO

Section 4. Additional Questions

__________________________________________________________________

a. What’s the most awful, terrifying thing you can imagine happening to you?

b. Why do you fantasize about young children?

c. Are you sure you don’t want to crumple up this form and throw it away right now, while there’s still time? [ ] YES [ ] NO

Section 5. Your Question for Authority_(Write in the space provided to the left. If you need additional space, please submit a separate Form 22C.)

Section 6. Certification

I hereby certify, to the best of my knowledge, that all information on and attached to this Form 22C is true, correct, complete, and provided in good faith. I understand that a false or truthful answer to any question on any part of this declaration or its attachments may be grounds for penalties up to and including full time employment administering Form 22C. I further understand and acknowledge that, whatever statements I may have made to the contrary in the past, authority is good, and I was just kidding. I do not really believe what I have written in this form, if what I have written in this form could reasonably be construed as criticizing authority and/or those therein.

Applicant's Signature: ______________________________________

(Office Use Only: Please record confirmation of tracking device placed on submitter of this Form 22C.)

The Covert Comic.

Question This.