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CIA Haiku Poetry

The Covert Comic


The following is a selection of Haiku poems I’ve written, typically while attending CIA intelligence briefings.  Each item is composed in accordance with basic principles of Japanese Haiku poetry (seventeen syllables in a 5-7-5 verse structure, subtlety of tone, etc.).  They are masterful.

Since the subject of said poems is life at CIA, I’ve decided to officially not name the selection Spaiku.

I’d like to thank everyone in advance for officially not loving these poems of mine!


Walk the dark hallway

A-Wing, Headquarters Ground Floor

... Hey, is that Elvis???


I wake to blackness

The intelligence briefing

Long since concluded


So you want to spy?

Come to my place; we'll practice

Penetration ops


Except for briefings

After lunch, CIA does

Not practice torture




Not without reason

Are counterintelligence

Officers called this


Third World press reports:

No truth to charge CIA

Controls Third World press


Top secret tech op:

Reprogram spy satellite

To observe nude babe


Big covert ops flap

Foreign government toppled

Wrong country - my bad!



CIA spokesman

Denies Agency sold crack

Like my new golf clubs?


A two-year tour in

FBI Liaison? Where's

My suicide pill?


To leave one's footprints

On the sands of time: is this

Not lousy tradecraft?


President wants coup

In some place called 'Canada'

Someone find a map