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The Covert Comic Weekly Intelligence Briefing
(Note: Cleared readers only, please.)
Daniel Patrick
Moynihan said “Secrecy is for losers.” He was right. At my agency we
don’t even look at anything below Top Secret/SCI. ● Never lie on a polygraph. The needles get all
bent, and then they ask you even more questions. ● You say ‘cosplay convention’ like there’s
some other kind. ● The
Super Bowl has become so commercialized, its religious meaning is in
danger of being lost completely. ● [Alien visiting our planet]: Tell me more
about this ‘wiggle room.’
Executive
Intelligence Summary It’s not whether you fall, it’s whether you do
something entertaining before hitting the ground.
The mightiest
of weapons is truth. And everyone knows you’re
not permitted to bring a weapon into a government building. ● What’s so controversial about NSA domestic
surveillance? As if half those domestics aren’t Venezuelan spies! ● I kicked ass on my peace studies final, but
the professor’s letting me retake it. ● The zenith of the word ‘zenith’ was when it
was a name for TVs. ● All
my memories seem to happen to music. Memories of mom and dad; of waking
up early on Christmas morning; of the little apartment we lived
in above the disco.
Executive
Intelligence Summary If thy nostril offend thee, stick thy finger in it.
Dance like everybody’s
watching, and it’s North Korea and you’re Kim Jong Un.
● I’m thinking
about joining CIA’s employee singles club, and maybe checking out one of
their officially-neither-meet-nor-mingle events. ● Please listen carefully while my menu options
change. ● As a privacy expert, my views on privacy are none of your damn business. ● Polycules? Polykewl! Executive Intelligence Summary
If it weren’t
for the laugh track, how would I know when to stop laughing?
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