Covert Comic Home Page


Contact Report

Universal Intelligence Estimate

Catwalk of Spies


My War On Terror!

The Naked Intelligence Officer

Real Men Don't Get Published

Who Killed The Covert Comic?

Universal Declaration of Humint Rights

PETA: People for the Ethical Treatment of Americans

Secrets of 9/11 (Recently unclassified!)

Spaiku! (CIA haiku poetry from the Covert Comic! "Spooky" - USA Today)

Black Matters (The world's most classified poetry)

Intelligence Underground (Spookiest of the spooks)

Form 22C: Questioning Authority

Intelligence Agents (Classified links and communiqués)

Contact The Covert Comic

Copyright 1998-2018. All rights reserved.

The Covert Comic

Weekly Intelligence Briefing


(Note: Cleared readers only, please.)

If history is written in blood, it's redacted with urine. – Tradecraft

  Secret Scarehead of the Week.  WAKE-UP CALL FOR NSA TRACED BY NSA TO CIA

  To state some depressing fact, and then follow with '... but there's a downside,' is cheap, unoriginal hack comedy.  ... But there's a downside.

  Here in America we make our own choices – but the parts are manufactured in China.

  One good test is worth a thousand expert opinions – but there are a thousand expert opinions on what constitutes a good test.

Executive Intelligence Summary

'Whatever doesn't kill me' is the null set.




How often the one who has our back is the one we wish would get off it.

  Too much blood has been spilled as a result of CIA counterterrorism operations.  Effective immediately, all counterterrorism operatives will be required to use a pour spout.

●  'Small is beautiful' is big and getting bigger.

●  March 2nd: Employee Appreciation Day

March 8th: International Women's Day

March 9th: Sleep On Sofa After Making Totally Innocent Joke Day

●  Motivational Secret of the Week.  Letting your inner light shine too brightly reveals your skeletal structure and is upsetting to small children.

Executive Intelligence Summary

Going nowhere, and not going anywhere, are two different things.




I am my area denial weapon.

  I've always wanted a career in the foreign service.  I'm sure he won't mind if I borrow his. – context classified

  What shall it profit a man if he gains the world and loses his soul (I'm talking after-tax profits)?

  Allen Ginsberg's thought 'first thought, best thought' could not have occurred prior to his third thought.

  A motivational speaker was stabbed by one of his students.  This either officially qualifies him as the worst motivational speaker ever, or the best. – Real Men Don't Get Published

Motivational Secret of the Week

We're fools whether we dance or not – so why get all sweaty?


The Covert Comic officially isn't on Twitter.



The Covert Comic.

Read him while you still can!