The Covert Comic

Secrets of 9/11 (Recently unclassified!)

Spaiku! (CIA haiku poetry from the Covert Comic! "Spooky" - USA Today)

Black Matters (The world's most classified poetry)

Intelligence Underground (Spookiest of the spooks)

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The Covert Comic

Weekly Intelligence Briefing

(Note: Cleared readers only, please.)

… But enough about my cover story, let's talk about yours.

● The FBI's Strategic Information and Operations Center (SIOC) is capable of providing coordinated real-time intelligence and communications in response to multiple national or international crises, or the presence of up to two CIA employees visiting FBI Headquarters cafeteria.

● According to the CDC, hand sanitizer should contain at least 60% alcohol. That's 120 proof. By way of comparison, brain sanitizer is only 100.

● Wild horses couldn't drag me away – because that would require they be trained to pull a payload in tandem, in which case by definition they'd no longer be wild.

● Woke up this morning naked in my neighbor's shed, a faint taste of blood on my lips.

Probably those social media influencers again.

Executive Intelligence Summary

LASIK Poem

Boys don't make passes

At girls who wear glasses

But in his dreams every boy seduces

A girl with laser-assisted in situ keratomileusis

CONOPS is a redundancy.

● Intelligence Community Pickup Line of the Night: As a MASINT officer, I can confirm that you've got the hottest infrared signature I've ever seen.

● I laughed when Fidel Castro said using ethanol from corn to make gasoline was capitalism taking food from the poor. But when I found out that ethanol is actually alcohol, and capitalism was taking booze from me, it didn't seem so funny.

● 'Eye contact' means looking at each other???

... Sorry.

● I stand by my principles. The fact that I stand several feet away from them with my face covered is purely a health precaution.

Executive Intelligence Summary

Speak truth to power, and let the rim shots fall where they may.