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The Covert Comic

Weekly Intelligence Briefing



(Note: Cleared readers only, please.)

The THREATCON system has been renamed by the Department of Defense due to persistent semantic confusion between the terms THREAT and CON.

Case officer Margaret X. successfully debriefed subject. Please find briefs enclosed. Ops report

● I’m not saying I don’t believe in ghost photography – I just question how a ghost would lug all that equipment around.

It turns out that the writer Franz Kafka was handsome, athletic, popular with women and frequently promoted at work. Talk about Kafkaesque.

If reference books aren’t supposed to be checked out, how come they dress so slutty???

Executive Intelligence Summary

I don't have the slightest idea – but my ideas are pretty close.





‘Depreciation’ is the decrease in value of an asset over time due to use, wear and tear, obsolescence and/or defection of that asset to the US.

Subject’s behavior indicates a serious character flaw: he has a character. Ops report

● It’s not the thread you're hanging by, it’s what part of you that thread is wrapped around.

If you refrain from clicking on a 'test your IQ' ad, your IQ goes up by 15 points.

● There are two sides to every story. That’s my story and I’m sticking to one and/or the other side of it.

Executive Intelligence Summary

If I win the skins game, do I have to actually touch the skins?




Threat intelligence? I've seen smarter.

Just because it's Write-For-Release doesn't make it right for release; but to make it right for release it needs to be Write-For-Release.

I'm a fact checker, but I would never intentionally check a fact into the boards.

When you asked me if I would rather make love with you or eat pizza, and I asked if it was extra pepperoni, I meant the lovemaking.

The key to success is surrounding yourself with a talented person. – Habits of Highly Effective Endoparasites

Executive Intelligence Summary

How can I love others if I don’t love myself – and why hasn’t wikiHow published an article on this yet???


The Covert Comic officially isn't on Twitter.

The Covert Comic.

Read him while you still can!