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The Covert Comic

Weekly Intelligence Briefing


(Note: Cleared readers only, please.)


  Secret 62531.  A joke is funnier when you tell it as if it were a secret.  A secret, likewise.

  Whenever I have French fries, I think of her – partly because we loved ordering French fries together, and partly because she was French, and also partly because her name was Fries.

●  You can hail from the West Indies, you can hail from Cape Town, but you can't hail from Minneapolis.

●  I have everything I need to destroy my enemies in a manila envelope.  Now if I can just figure out a way to get them in there. My War on Terror!

Executive Intelligence Summary

If a nod is as good as a wink, two nods are as good as blinking.




You say 'confusion agent' like there's some other kind.

●  Typical themes in CIA operations include money, sex, personal betrayal, and lust for power.  And that's just to requisition a new laptop. – Real Men Don't Get Published

●  I work in an error conditioned office.

●  Georg Cantor, the creator of set theory, proved mathematically that some infinities are larger than others.  That some zeros are bigger than other zeros is, of course, self-evident from daily life.

●  My word is my blonde.

Executive Intelligence Summary

Your genitals refer to your head as 'up there,' with equal embarrassment.




'Political asylum' is a redundancy.

●  SpookSpeak.  Analytic tradecraft n.  The set of methods and techniques used by an intelligence analyst – including agent recruitment, deception and 'black bag' ops – to get his or her analysis through peer review.

●  To me it's not a near riot unless it's within 10 feet.

●  Before you criticize biblical literalism, consider that it imputes divine authority to the statement 'All rights reserved.'

●  After my accident, the doctors told me I shouldn't be alive.  It wasn't a medical opinion – they were expressing a deeply held personal belief. Who Killed The Covert Comic?

Executive Intelligence Summary


The Covert Comic officially isn't on Twitter.



The Covert Comic.

Read him while you still can!