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The Covert Comic

Weekly Intelligence Briefing



(Note: Cleared readers only, please.)

You can put a rumor to bed, but you can't keep it from jumping up and down on the mattress.

● It’s tough reading a room that’s 90% redacted. – After bombing at a National Security Agency briefing

Corn dogs can smell corn fear.

● If humans ever learn to communicate with whales, you probably don't want to be there when female sperm whales find out what their name means.

Director’s cut? Let’s hope it’s a major artery.

Executive Intelligence Summary




Keeping the ‘me’ out of emergency response.

As I remotely detonated the explosives hidden in the terrorists’ van, I felt mixed emotions. On one hand, there was relief at having foiled a murderous plot; on the other hand, there was sadness in knowing I wouldn’t be able to hit the booze until after I wrote my ops report.

I've been studying calligraphy. Not to brag, but I think I'm getting pretty good at it. For example, this sentence wasn't typed.

● How much of the concern today about artificial intelligence is legitimate, and how much is just robots trying to sound badass?

● NASA official: “We’ve been tracking the projected impact point of the Apophis near-Earth asteroid, and I’m afraid I have some bad news about your family’s farm, Mr. Patches.”

Executive Intelligence Summary

Gleek truth to power.




The problem with defectors is that most of them are defective.

In retrospect, the CIA's rendition program was morally problematic - though as a CIA officer I stand by the quality of our in-flight movies.

We all have our personnel demons.

The ‘360-degree feedback’ method was first developed by the German military in the 1930’s to evaluate officer candidates, shortly after which it was successfully applied by the Allies to Germany itself.

Being labeled is degrading and humiliating – especially when the label says ‘This Side Up.’

Executive Intelligence Summary

Female cross dressing? What woman hasn’t dressed in anger now and then?


The Covert Comic officially isn't on Twitter.

The Covert Comic.

Read him while you still can!