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Secrets of 9/11 (Recently unclassified!)

Spaiku! (CIA haiku poetry from the Covert Comic! "Spooky" - USA Today)

Black Matters (The world's most classified poetry)

Intelligence Underground (Spookiest of the spooks)

Form 22C: Questioning Authority

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The Covert Comic

Weekly Intelligence Briefing


(Note: Cleared readers only, please.)

The battle is twice the knowing.

●  A good briefing makes you forget you're sitting in a hot, stuffy SCIF.  A bad briefing makes you forget you're lying on the floor in one.

  There's you, there's me, and there's our relationship.  And I don't do threesomes, sweetie. To an ops officeress

●  Socialism doesn't work.  It has a rich father.

  Some are scarred long before they're wounded.

Executive Intelligence Summary

Get out before you throw me out. Universal Intelligence Estimate




Dress in a martini, sip on a tuxedo.

  Secret 4391112.0No one intelligence assets are alike.

  I believe in living each day as if it's my last.  The bad news: my actual last day was fifteen years ago.

  Before we get into a pissing contest here, is the prize for height, quantity, or force per square meter? – Catwalk of Spies

  That nothing is more sacred than truth is good news for truth, but bad news for sacredness.

Executive Intelligence Summary

If you're a prisoner of conscience, try creating a distraction, then make a run for it while your conscience is looking the other way.




Keep your ear to the ground, and the rest of you underneath it.

●  Diplomats drink while talking.  Ops officers talk while drinking.

●  The first mistake the Empire made was calling itself the Empire.  It should have called itself the People's Interplanetary Cooperative.

●  A butterfly cannot see its own wings.  But if it could, it would probably think: "So THAT'S what the hell happened to my abdominal prolegs."

●  'Practical joke' is a redundancy.

Executive Intelligence Summary

If all the world's a stage, America is the shiny vertical pole in the middle. Real Men Don't Get Published


The Covert Comic officially isn't on Twitter.



Blow Your Cover!

Nothing says "I can neither confirm nor deny that I regularly read the Covert Comic" like a genuine Covert Comic bumper sticker.

Create your own covert action!  [Officially don’t] purchase and affix these stickers to the bumpers of CIA or FBI counterintelligence officers’ cars, street signs in heavily traveled areas of Georgetown, cubicles at the Defense Intelligence Agency, the back of Air Force One, etc.

Stickers are standard 3x10 inch, full color, and are shipped promptly and secretively via First-Class Mail (no shipping fee!).  Price: $10.  Allow 2-3 weeks for delivery.

(Note: An ultra-classified portion of proceeds from the sale of Covert Comic bumper stickers goes to Fisher House, a tax deductible charity providing lodging and other support to families of wounded US military personnel.  ... And you're right, lady, I am arrogant and self-serving.)





Can't we all just coexist?







The Covert Comic.

Read him while you still can!