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The Covert Comic

Weekly Intelligence Briefing

    

 

(Note: Cleared readers only, please.)

Ask Me Anything Unclassified!

●  Reader: I'm in love with a friend who's in the Navy, but he doesn't know.  How can I tell him before he ships out next week?

Dear Reader: Once he's at sea, it should take your friend no more than five or six days to figure out he's in the Navy.  Hope this helps!

●  I am the non-fungible token of life. Jesus

●  The diary has been replaced by the nanosecondry.

●  For me, aging is about mind over matter.  Every year my matter sags another quarter of an inch below my mind.

PostTopSecret of the Week

– From PostTopSecret

 

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Bureaucracy is a mind of state.

●  The Worldwide Incidents Tracking System was discontinued after objections to country-specific versions of the system were raised by the governments of Turkey, Tunisia, Turkmenistan, Tanzania, Thailand, Tajikistan, Tonga, Togo and Tuvalu.

●  I used to wonder why health stores always looked empty.  It turns out there are plenty of customers inside, but you and I can't see them because they've evolved into pure energy.

●  When you say 'linear thinking is patriarchal,' are you saying the relationship is a first degree polynomial function with R : (0, )?

●  I'd rather have less time than I think, than less think than I have time. – Universal Intelligence Estimate

Executive Intelligence Summary

Death is not the end.  Death is the middle linebacker.

 

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No Entry Without Badge.  With Badge, Even Less Entry Than That.

●  Per the Third Agency Rule, if my agency provides information to your agency, your agency may not provide that information to a third agency, as that agency could in turn provide the information to my agency, potentially causing my agency to conclude that the information is true.

●  It's good to see the Washington football team is finally changing its name.  The term 'Washington' is clearly offensive.

●  Say what you will about the Large Hadron Collider, it keeps particle physicists off the streets.

  Human remains found?  Are any of them mine?

PostTopSecret of the Week

from PostTopSecret  

 

 

The Covert Comic officially isn't on Twitter.

 

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The Covert Comic.

Read him while you still can!