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The Covert Comic

Weekly Intelligence Briefing



(Note: Cleared readers only, please.)

Set phasers on Glock. Beaming down to the surface of a particularly violent, backward planet

  She was five feet seven inches of burning passion.  And that was widthwise. Contact Report

  Most parties are gender reveal parties, eventually.

  She gave me a look you could make ice cubes with.

"Why the Rubbermaid easy release ice cube tray face?" I asked.

  11% of Americans believe HTML is a sexually transmitted disease.  In reality of course, HTML is caused by bacteria living in the lower bowel.

Executive Intelligence Summary

I'm not bitter.  I'm more umami.




You say 'foreign intelligence' like there's some other kind.

  Of all the embassies in all the cities in all the world, she walked into mine.  ... And oh did I intend to stamp her visa. Contact Report

  The least badass part of my bad ass is badder-ass than the baddest-ass part of your clearly non-bad ass. from Badass Quotes

  Knowing the rhythm is gonna get me, I carry a concealed suicide pill on my person at all times.

  Don't tell people "Tomorrow belongs to those who prepare for it today" today.  Prepare today and tell them tomorrow.

Executive Intelligence Summary

As if the economy itself isn't a gig.




If the source is bleeding, it's OSINT by definition.

  At most. – My manager, answering a question on my performance evaluation: 'Does he/she qualify as an Intermittent Federal Employee?'

  ... Wait, the F in MILF doesn't stand for fathom???

  Motivational Secret of the Week.  Avoid those who attempt to establish dominance in relationships by diminishing the self-worth of others. If they're not willing to commit to diminishing your self-worth exclusively, you need to move on.

  That it is what it is does not imply that it isn't what it isn't.

PostTopSecret of the Week

From PostTopSecret


The Covert Comic officially isn't on Twitter.

The Covert Comic.

Read him while you still can!