The Covert Comic

Secrets of 9/11 (Recently unclassified!)

Spaiku! (CIA haiku poetry from the Covert Comic! "Spooky" - USA Today)

Black Matters (The world's most classified poetry)

Intelligence Underground (Spookiest of the spooks)

The Covert Comic

Weekly Intelligence Briefing

(Note: Cleared readers only, please.)

Whoever believes nothing is impossible never attended an advisory proceeding of the International Court of Justice and experienced nothing firsthand.

● Originally I planned to be a CIA analyst, because the job description called for intellectual curiosity, and the recruiter told me my intellect was about as curious as they come.

● I affirm the privacy of my thoughts. My thoughts are none of my damn business.

● Model n. 1. A representation of an object, typically on a reduced scale. 2. (Mathematics) A set of data used to simulate reality. 3. (Fashion) See 1 and 2.

● Not only is life too short, it has acne and looks geeky in gym clothes.

Executive Intelligence Summary

I’m willing to change my tune (but not my rhythm track).

It’s not a ‘leak’ – it’s a senior policymaker golden shower.

● If you work for the National Reconnaissance Office, and someone from the public tells you about a structure that’s so large it can be seen from space, I bet you nod and say ‘Really? Wow, that’s amazing,’ and then try hard not to laugh.

● Actually, the ‘sluttiest’ thing a man (or woman) can do is refrain from using words that are demeaning.

● Some people around the office are saying this reorganization won’t address our problems. As for me, I’m waiting to see what new organs we get.

● Give me social democracy over capitalism any day of the week (but not weekends).

Executive Intelligence Summary

So long – don’t be stranger!

The correct term is not ‘walk-in tub’, it’s Big Beautiful Defector.

● Military-industrial complex? I like DoD contractors, but I deny having a fetish for them.

● Hot Moms In Your Area Want To Know When You’re Planning To Get The AC Fixed.

● In Genesis 2:22, Adam didn’t know Eve from Adam.

● The older he gets, the more my neighbor talks to his dogs. The older I get, the more I talk about my neighbor talking to his dogs.

Executive Intelligence Summary

The most valuable lesson I’ve learned in life? Just be you. The day I assumed your identity, all my problems disappeared.

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