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The Covert Comic

Weekly Intelligence Briefing


(Note: Cleared readers only, please.)

'Security awareness' is an oxymoron.

  SpookSpeak.  Threat agent n.  A professional agent who acts on behalf of a threat in negotiating with publishers to promote the threat's work for book sales, film rights and merchandising.

  To literally have your sh*t together is the opposite of having your sh*t together.

  Some women take off their clothes, others get evicted by them.

  Not to oppose injustice is to be party to it and who doesn't like to be have fun!

Executive Intelligence Summary

The cranial cavity is the shortest bus of all.




You don't terminate an asset for deceiving you, you terminate them for failing to.

  Disclosure: the Moro Islamic Liberation Front was created by me and a couple of other guys at CIA so we could view online porn at the office.

  You can question a person's opinion and reasoning without questioning their patriotism (although it's only one more question, so it's not like questioning their patriotism is that much extra work).

  My wife said "I ain't the diem, so don't even think about carping me."

  If for any reason this product is not completely satisfied with you, it may return you for a full refund. – Universal Intelligence Estimate

Executive Intelligence Summary

Spank you!

Your welt come!




According to the Daily Threat Report, the threat of this being a day has officially been raised from Elevated to High.

  Secret 42813871.  If her eyes don't sparkle, her gun will.

  I'm worried about the rate at which America seems to be spiraling out of control.  America usually spirals out of control well before lunchtime.

  You were the last guy with me on Saturday night. – Entry in Father's Day essay contest: 'You're a Father If ...'  

  Better to be asked what drug you're on, than what drug you're off. Real Men Don't Get Published

Executive Intelligence Summary

The heart never lies.  It asserts alternative facts.


The Covert Comic officially isn't on Twitter.



The Covert Comic.

Read him while you still can!