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The Covert Comic

Weekly Intelligence Briefing

 

(Note: Cleared readers only, please.)

Secret 2591017.  Toss bricks in the air to test the wind.

●  An intelligence briefing is like karaoke night, except for the classification (karaoke nights typically being classified higher).

  The statement 'He does nothing for political reasons' implies no political agenda, or a very wise one.

  Feed is food that food is fed.

●  Why do men have nipples?  Because we can.

Executive Intelligence Summary

The dust gathers the trophy.

 

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No sexpionage without dinner-and-a-moviespionage.

●  You saw 9/11 coming?  I gave 9/11 the handjob, and you weren't even in the room.

  SpookSpeak.  Like herding cats (informal)  1. Chaotic and usually futile.  2. (CIA) Requiring little more than waving an open can of tuna.

●  I got into mixed martial arts to find out what I was made of.  I found out I'm made of blood.

●  Secret 32162.  The crunchy taco shall become soft, the soft taco, crunchy.

Executive Intelligence Summary

If it's not what you know, but who you know, what's the point of knowing this?

 

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It's always an appropriate time

For your intel reporting to rhyme!

  Intelligence Community RUMINT of the Day.  I hear he's validating her assets.

  When wrestling with your demons, try to use more convincing moves than the bronco buster, the slingshot, and the worm.

  If I think for one minute that I'm the kind of person who would have sex with me on the very first date, then I'm sadly mistaken.

  Weapons with the most ridiculous sounding names.

1.  Nunchuck

2.  Halberd

3.  Hunga Munga

4.  Truth

PostTopSecret of the Week

From PostTopSecret

                                                  

The Covert Comic officially isn't on Twitter.

 

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Blow Your Cover!

Nothing says "I can neither confirm nor deny that I regularly read the Covert Comic" like a genuine Covert Comic bumper sticker.

Create your own covert action!  [Officially don’t] purchase and affix these stickers to the bumpers of CIA or FBI counterintelligence officers’ cars, street signs in heavily traveled areas of Georgetown, cubicles at the Defense Intelligence Agency, the back of Air Force One, etc.

Stickers are standard 3x10 inch, full color, and are shipped promptly and secretively via First-Class Mail (no shipping fee!).  Price: $10.  Allow 2-3 weeks for delivery.

(Note: An ultra-classified portion of proceeds from the sale of Covert Comic bumper stickers goes to Fisher House, a tax deductible charity providing lodging and other support to families of wounded US military personnel.  ... And you're right, lady, I am arrogant and self-serving.)

                          

 

 

                

Can't we all just coexist?

 

         

 

 

                        

 

The Covert Comic.

Read him while you still can!