The Covert Comic

Secrets of 9/11 (Recently unclassified!)

Spaiku! (CIA haiku poetry from the Covert Comic! "Spooky" - USA Today)

Black Matters (The world's most classified poetry)

Intelligence Underground (Spookiest of the spooks)

The Covert Comic

Weekly Intelligence Briefing

(Note: Cleared readers only, please.)

Stop me if you’ve officially never heard this one. – Briefing the National Security Council

● I’m starting with the man in the mirror. I’m asking him to change his ways.

… For example, could he at least blur the video when I’m naked. – Hotel room, Beijing

● Even if I did create them myself, I still think I’m doing pretty well under the circumstances.

● ‘Standoffish’ sounds bad until you consider the alternative.

● You don’t ‘enter’ the portal, you are the portal. – Some major porthole

Executive Intelligence Summary

Better to turn a blind eye, than a blocked nasal cavity.

As with hands, so with classified information: when sanitizing, use at least 60% alcohol.

● Saw a fellow Agency employee on the news last night. She was at a DC protest rally holding up a sign that said “NOT IN MY NAME!”

Wondered which of her names she was referring to.

● You say ‘sex sting’ like there’s a kind of sex that doesn’t.

● Belarus is Russian for ‘Russian Belize.’

● I wouldn’t object to being conscious during brain surgery, as long as someone told me where to cut.

Executive Intelligence Summary

Anybody know why Major League Baseball’s logo shows a duck attempting to hit a baseball???

Some kind of historical reference? (Or perhaps they’re trying to promote species inclusivity?)

The CYA Correlation. The bigger YA, the more you have to C.

● Our very democracy depends on the success of this operation. And several not very democracies are depending on it too. – Ops planning session

● Dad jokes n. A disorder caused by an overabundance of jestosterone.

● The wheels of justice turn slowly – especially when justice is doing tire flips.

● You’re broken and it’s beautiful? I’m dissolved and it’s just OK.

Executive Intelligence Summary

The statements I provided under oath were not false, they contained substantial mispronunciations.

Intel Briefings on YouTube.

The Covert Comic.

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