Covert Comic Home Page


Contact Report

Universal Intelligence Estimate

Catwalk of Spies


My War On Terror!

The Naked Intelligence Officer

Real Men Don't Get Published

Who Killed The Covert Comic?

Universal Declaration of Humint Rights

Secrets of 9/11 (Recently unclassified!)

Spaiku! (CIA haiku poetry from the Covert Comic! "Spooky" - USA Today)

Black Matters (The world's most classified poetry)

Intelligence Underground (Spookiest of the spooks)

Contact The Covert Comic

Copyright 1998-2021. All rights reserved.

The Covert Comic

Weekly Intelligence Briefing


(Note: Cleared readers only, please.)

Order of battle?  Is that for pickup or delivery?

●  Working for the CIA: Myth vs. Fact

Myth: If you work for the CIA you can't tell your family.

Fact: I can neither confirm nor deny that most of your family is already working for the CIA.

●  A binary chemical munition consists of two precursors which, when mixed together upon detonation, form a toxic substance capable of inflicting mass casualties.

... Isn't love a lot like that?

  Every robot dances the human being.

●  If it's a really good speed reading course, you get the bill before you've heard of it.

Executive Intelligence Summary

The true story is not based on a true story.




'CIA' is longer than what it's short for.

●  This draft presidential finding needs to be sanitized prior to release to Congress.  Get me an expert on sanity. – [Context classified]

●  There's nothing so precious as a mother's love.  So even if I did have to pay my mom nearly $35,000 to love me, I think it was a good investment.

●  Ain't no sunshine when she's gone.  On the other hand, ain't nothin' but massive solar storms when she's present.

●  Properly executed, the brush pass is a highly effective means of covert communication.  Improperly executed, it's even better. Catwalk of Spies

Executive Intelligence Summary

Then again, for your mouth to write a check your ass can cash isn't all that hot either.




A government that's big enough to know everything about you is a government that's too big not to lose your file.

  My diplomatic immunity could definitely use a booster shot. In a hard interview room in an unnamed country

  You can't understand that you've been inducted, and truly belong in the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame.

  Charity begins at home. Home is where the heart is. The heart is a lonely hunter. Therefore, charity begins with loners carrying firearms.

  I can do anything I put my mind to.  Now if I could just put my mind to putting my mind to stuff.

Executive Intelligence Summary

The technical term for data integrity is 'honor among thieves.' 


The Covert Comic officially isn't on Twitter.



The Covert Comic.

Read him while you still can!