The Covert Comic

Weekly Intelligence Briefing

(Note: Cleared readers only, please.)

Order of battle?  Is that for pickup or delivery?

●  Working for the CIA: Myth vs. Fact

Myth: If you work for the CIA you can't tell your family.

Fact: I can neither confirm nor deny that most of your family is already working for the CIA.

●  A binary chemical munition consists of two precursors which, when mixed together upon detonation, form a toxic substance capable of inflicting mass casualties.

... Isn't love a lot like that?

●  Every robot dances the human being.

●  If it's a really good speed reading course, you get the bill before you've heard of it.

Executive Intelligence Summary

The true story is not based on a true story.

*

'CIA' is longer than what it's short for.

●  This draft presidential finding needs to be sanitized prior to release to Congress.  Get me an expert on sanity. – [Context classified]

●  There's nothing so precious as a mother's love.  So even if I did have to pay my mom nearly $35,000 to love me, I think it was a good investment.

●  Ain't no sunshine when she's gone.  On the other hand, ain't nothin' but massive solar storms when she's present.

●  Properly executed, the brush pass is a highly effective means of covert communication.  Improperly executed, it's even better. – Catwalk of Spies

Executive Intelligence Summary

Then again, for your mouth to write a check your ass can cash isn't all that hot either.

*

A government that's big enough to know everything about you is a government that's too big not to lose your file.

●  My diplomatic immunity could definitely use a booster shot. – In a hard interview room in an unnamed country

●  You can't understand that you've been inducted, and truly belong in the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame.

●  Charity begins at home. Home is where the heart is. The heart is a lonely hunter. Therefore, charity begins with loners carrying firearms.

●  I can do anything I put my mind to.  Now if I could just put my mind to putting my mind to stuff.

Executive Intelligence Summary

The technical term for data integrity is 'honor among thieves.'