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The Covert Comic Weekly Intelligence Briefing
(Note: Cleared readers only, please.) He who lacks an execution plan, doesn’t. ● I was referring to the aircraft, ma’am. –
While providing a briefing on dual-role tankers ● A good hair day is worse than a bad hair day.
On a bad hair day you can always try water, gel, spray, or just wait
until tomorrow. But on a good hair day, you know your hair will never
look that way again. ● I
googled my life expectancy. When I entered my personal data, it said
“Probably not.” ● It’s not the size of the dog in the fight
that counts, it's the size of the numbers that dog can count to while
fighting.
Executive
Intelligence Summary
Get thee in front
of me, Satan. I spoon better that way.
At CIA there’s no
standing policy regarding the use of sex in operations. Provided it’s
consensual, Agency officers are permitted to have sex standing, lying
down, or in any other position they and their partner choose. ● It’s ‘local ordinance?’ Not ‘local ordnance?’ … Uh-oh. – ● The best part of living in the moment: if you
don’t like this moment, there’s always another one coming along in 15 or
20 years. ● Stakeholder n. An individual or group
that has an active interest in obtaining a severed head. ● Say what you will about the 50 foot woman,
but she definitely broke barriers.
Executive
Intelligence Summary
I never joke
about God. I’m against punching down in comedy.
Dynamic risk assessment? I’ve seen zestier. ● If you work undercover for the National
Reconnaissance Office, and someone from the public tells you about a
landmark that’s so impressive it can be seen from space, I bet you
answer ‘Really? Wow, that’s amazing,’ and then you try hard not to
laugh. ● Meet singles near me? But at least three feet
away, right? ● The problem with having nothing to prove is
that you constantly have to prove it. ● Actually, now that you mention it, ESPECIALLY
in this economy.
Executive
Intelligence Summary
Ask not what your
country can do for you, ask what you can do for your R&B.
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