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The Covert Comic

Weekly Intelligence Briefing

(Note: Cleared readers only, please.)

Choose bona fide mala fides over mala fide bona fides every time.

● One look and I could see she was a double agent. Two looks and I could see she was a quadruple agent.

No doubt about it, I was gonna need to call embassy security for a ride home again.

● ‘Say Goodbye To High Interest’? Friend, I said goodbye to any level of interest years ago.

● I saw a documentary about the life of inventor William G. Allen. It was wrenching.

● The Amish wear drab clothing to discourage lust. If they really want to prevent lust, why don't Amish people just walk around naked?

Executive Intelligence Summary

The upside of a monkey on your back: free grooming.

CUI (Controlled Unclassified Information) is not a classification, but rather a control marking. As for what constitutes a control marking, that information is CUI.

● SpookSpeak. Spin-off n. The turnover of a developmental contact from one case officer to another for further grooming and assessment. See: Spin-off (Television) – A new sitcom based on a previous one.

● Albert Einstein said “You cannot simultaneously prevent and prepare for war.” But botulinum toxin is proof that you can simultaneously prepare for war and look years younger!

● It’s only ‘mansplain’ if the man’s plain.

● I never read the whole Zen koan – I just skip to the end to find out if the monk attained enlightenment.

Executive Intelligence Summary

How many tools in a shed actually need to be sharp? Asking for a friend.

SpookSpeak. Display n. 1. (Military) A static portrayal of activity and/or capability intended to visually deceive. 2. (Intelligence Community consulting) A static portrayal of activity and/or capability intended to visually deceive, that charges per diem.

● Decedent’s personal effects? Well, among other things, he’s dead. – Ops briefing

● The Four Steps of Mature Dating

1. Gym & Swim

2. Surf & Turf

3. Drink & Think

4. Pee & Flee

● No thunder was ever angry, nor dark cloud somber. But every drizzle is definitely embarrassed.

● I never roll my eyes - but my eyes have damn sure rolled me.

Executive Intelligence Summary

The future’s been now too long.