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The Covert Comic

Weekly Intelligence Briefing

 

 

(Note: Cleared readers only, please.)

SpookSpeak. Notional agent n. An agent that does not exist. (Compare: agent with notions – an existing agent who is about to become notional.)

Host government assured station it will honor detained CO’s right to trial buy jury. – Ops report

● I went to a rage room, but they told me I needed a reservation. So I made two reservations: one to work off my original rage, plus a second reservation to work off my rage at needing to make a reservation for a rage room.

● I always think before I speak. I always think “I think I’ll speak now.”

● If only not finding out meant one wasn’t f***ing around.

Executive Intelligence Summary

How can I be in cahoots with others, unless I first learn to be in cahoots with myself?

                         

*

     

Remember when a handler in espionage, and a handler in computer programming, were two different things?

Me neither.

There’s an intelligence version of Catch-22, knowledge of which requires a special security clearance. As for how to obtain the clearance, you need to know the intelligence version of Catch-22.

● Does this weight-loss drug make my ass look like it used to be fat?

● My 10-year-old son thinks the term is ‘spoil-her alert.’ Prove he’s wrong.

● In an alternate universe, youre not proud to be an Okie from Muskogee, but since youre always high on marijuana and LSD, being an Okie from Muskogee doesnt bother you that much either.

Executive Intelligence Summary

The Cavalier’s Lament

Because in sallying forth I did dally

I was reduced to dallying fourth with Sally

    

*

 

 

The classification is to the secret as the laugh track is to the joke.

SpookSpeak. Tactronym n. An acronym in which letters have been omitted, and/or extra letters added, so as to avoid an inappropriate acronym that would otherwise result. (Example: Tactical INtelligence Technologies Staff – TINTS)

● If I could verify my humanity, I wouldn’t be clicking on your self-affirmation website in the first place.

Boomer band name: Strong Stream.

● I don’t need an emotional support animal, I need an emotional support animal!

Executive Intelligence Summary

I don’t owe you from Adam. – God

                                  

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