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The Covert Comic Weekly Intelligence Briefing
(Note: Cleared readers only, please.) I wasn’t burned. More like flambéed. – Ops
report
●
It was quiet,
thought the grizzled old CIA case officer. Too quiet.
Feigning an
untied shoelace, he crouched down in the cafeteria line at the assisted
living facility, and in a single lightning fast motion, readjusted the
volume on his hearing aid. ● … Well, OK, as long as it’s not ‘Mr.
Tambourine Man.’ – Mr. Tambourine Man ● The man who wrote: “Our whole life is a
matter of semantics” was named Frankfurter. Just sayin’. ● Oh
what a tangled web's resultant, when first we hire a weaving consultant.
Executive
Intelligence Summary When I quit being a people pleaser, I just hope
you’re all happy.
SpookSpeak.
Blind spot n. In countersurveillance, a belief in the existence
of blind spots.
●
“We’re a lot
alike, you and I,” the enemy agent sneered, placing the barrel of his
Glock against my temple, pulling the trigger, and instantly killing
himself (... because, being a lot like me, he was terrible with firearms).
– Ops report ● I’m nonbinary because I hate alternatives. ● Reading about the five stages of grief before
you actually grieve takes all the excitement out of it. ● Domestic abuse?! The house hit me first!
Executive
Intelligence Summary
I gave her my
heart, but she wanted my soul.
No doubt about
it, I need to read up on gifting.
Was it something I neither confirmed nor
denied? – CIA spokesperson getting dumped after a first date
●
If Israel had a
Ministry Of Secretly Suckering Antisemitic Doofuses, I bet that
ministry’s name would be classified, and its acronym would be an
innocuous-sounding Hebrew word. ● The Zen master is clearly impressed with my
progress. He says I’ve succeeded in emptying my mind faster than any
student he’s ever had. ● Gender studies major? I assumed she was a
colonel at the very least. ● The reason that sign at the gate of Hell says
‘Abandon all hope, ye who enter here’ is so folks won’t
be disappointed once they’re inside.
Executive
Intelligence Summary
If
enough sh*t hits the fan blades, they’ll
stop rotating.
The Covert Comic. Read him while you still can!
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