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The Covert Comic Weekly Intelligence Briefing
(Note: Cleared readers only, please.)
CIA
xxxxxxxxx Station: proud recipient of the Good
Safehouse-keeping Seal.
● America’s
Foreign Intelligence Surveillance Court should be renamed the Foreign
Restricted Intelligence Surveillance Court, to reflect the fact that it
only authorizes surveillance under special circumstances (and
also because its acronym would be ‘FRISC,’ which sounds way cooler).
● I’m not afraid
of being doxed. Just because strangers learn the details of my private
life doesn’t mean I have to. ● In New Jersey, you could do worse than end up
in a watery grave. You could end up in a cementy grave, or a landfilly
grave, or a football stadiumy grave. ● Whoever said hindsight is 20/20 was 20/400.
Executive
Intelligence Summary
Don't walk behind me, I may not lead.
Don't walk in front of me, I may not follow.
Walk all over me; I like it.
SpookSpeak.
Notional agent n. An agent that does not exist. (Compare:
agent with notions – an existing agent who is about to become
notional.)
●
Host government
assured station it will honor detained CO’s right to trial buy jury.
– Ops report ● I went to a rage room, but they told me I
needed a reservation. So I made two reservations: one to work off my
original rage, plus a second reservation to work off my rage at needing
to make a reservation for a rage room. ● I always think before I speak. I always think
“I think I’ll speak now.”
● If only not
finding out meant one wasn’t f***ing around.
Executive
Intelligence Summary How can I be in cahoots with others, unless I
first learn to be in cahoots with myself?
Remember when a handler in espionage, and a
handler in computer programming, were two different things? Me neither.
●
There’s an
intelligence version of Catch-22, knowledge of which requires a special
security clearance. As for how to obtain the clearance, you need to know
the intelligence version of Catch-22.
● Does this
weight-loss drug make my ass look like it used to be fat?
● My 10-year-old
son thinks the term is ‘spoil-her alert.’ Prove he’s wrong.
● In an alternate
universe, you’re not proud to be
an Okie from Muskogee, but since you’re
always high on marijuana and LSD, being an Okie from Muskogee doesn’t
bother you that much either.
Executive
Intelligence Summary The Cavalier’s Lament Because in sallying forth I did dally
I was reduced to
dallying fourth with Sally
The Covert Comic. Read him while you still can!
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