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The Covert Comic Weekly Intelligence Briefing
(Note: Cleared readers only, please.)
Diplomatic immunity? I get my booster shot against Foreign Service
Officers before every overseas tour. ● As a CIA covert operations officer, I hate
who I’ve become. So after lunch I’m going over to Cover and Commercial
Staff and get a new identity. ● My culture is not your costume. Your costume doesn’t contain nearly enough synthetic polyester. ● “Don’t you dare use that kind of language in
this house,” grandma scolded, after catching me programming in C++. ● Truthfulness
is saying “not to mention,” and then never speaking again.
Executive Intelligence Summary
Are you f**king
kidding me? Or are you and kidding me just friends?
Choose bona fide mala fides over mala
fide bona fides every time. ● One look and I could see she was a double agent. Two looks and I could see she was a quadruple agent. ... No doubt about it, I was gonna need to call
embassy security for a ride home again.
● ‘Say Goodbye To
High Interest’? Friend, I said goodbye to any level of interest years
ago. ● I saw a documentary about the life of
inventor William G. Allen. It was wrenching. ● The Amish wear drab clothing to discourage
lust. If they really want to prevent lust, why don't Amish people just
walk around naked?
Executive
Intelligence Summary The upside of a monkey on your back: free
grooming.
CUI (Controlled
Unclassified Information) is not a classification, but rather a control
marking. As for what constitutes a control marking, that information is
CUI.
●
SpookSpeak.
Spin-off n.
The turnover of a developmental contact from one case officer to another
for further grooming and assessment.
See: Spin-off (Television) – A
new sitcom based on a previous one.
● Albert Einstein
said “You cannot simultaneously prevent and prepare for war.” But
botulinum toxin is proof that you can simultaneously prepare for war and
look years younger!
● It’s only
‘mansplain’ if the man’s plain.
● I never read
the whole Zen koan – I just skip to the end to find out if the monk
attained enlightenment.
Executive
Intelligence Summary How many tools in a shed actually need to be
sharp? Asking for a friend.
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