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The Covert Comic Weekly Intelligence Briefing
(Note: Cleared readers only, please.)
Although ● Regarding an emergency preparedness plan,
station is fully prepared to implement an emergency upon request. –
Ops report
● My uncle had a
hemispherectomy. He’s got half a mind to sue for malpractice.
● From now on,
I’m striving with all my might to be more decisive.
…OK, all my
probably.
● ‘Consider it
done’ isn’t a promise, it’s a request.
Executive
Intelligence Summary If all the world's a stage, America is
the shiny vertical pole in the middle.
You say ‘CONPLAN’
like there’s some other kind. ● Station seeking designation of asset as a
non-combatant, given that he hasn’t killed anybody in nearly two days.
– Ops report
●
I’ve been struggling with my Zen studies. The Zen master thinks I may
have an unlearning disability. ● You could do worse than lie alone in bed at
night wishing you knew a sapiosexual. You could lie alone in bed at
night knowing you do. ● Come the revolution, it’ll probably be a good idea to stop saying ‘Come the revolution.’
Executive
Intelligence Summary The future’s been now too long.
Beware a target of opportunity, lest the
opportunity targeted be you. ● Station acknowledges that current treaty
prohibits supplying field artillery to host government. However,
provision of indoor artillery is nowhere mentioned in said protocol.
– Ops report ● I desire only to be that which I am. As soon as that happens it’s over for you
bitches. ● For two years I was seeing a sex therapist.
I’m now seeing a sex therapist. ● Too soon? – Jesus telling Rapture jokes
Executive
Intelligence Summary If I die, tell the police about everyone who
ever knew me.
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