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The Covert Comic Weekly Intelligence Briefing
(Note: Cleared readers only, please.) My in-laws don’t know I work for CIA – although
they do ask why sections of my family’s Christmas letter are blacked out
every year.
●
SpookSpeak.
Hard target n. 1. A target who is difficult to access and/or
recruit. 2. A target who is not difficult to access and/or recruit.
● That DC
pizzeria that was alleged to be a front for the debunked ‘Pizzagate’
conspiracy theory: how do they still not have a ‘Deep State Deep
Dish’ pizza on their menu???
● You could do
worse than be dumbfounded and flabbergasted. You could be dumbgasted and
flabberfounded.
● Nobody wants to
culturally appropriate long division.
Executive
Intelligence Summary “What makes you think the whole world revolves
around you?!” my mother demanded, as I slowly rotated my gaze to
maintain eye contact.
One upside of climate change: less cold for a
spy to come in from.
●
SpookSpeak. SINGINT n.
Singles intelligence. Information collected by unattached CIA officers
regarding other unattached CIA officers. Sometimes confused with SIGINT
(signals intelligence), the two disciplines being similar in
pronunciation and sharing numerous common practices.
● Eating lunch
BEFORE I go to the cattle auction today. Not making the same mistake
this time.
● If I was one of
those patients who saw visible healing of their intestinal lining, I’d
be like ‘Thank you sooo much, but ew.’ ● It can’t be a midlife crisis if it kills you
instantly.
Executive
Intelligence Summary
You say
‘psychosexual’ like there’s some other kind.
When managing a stable of agents, the case
officer’s approach will typically vary based on whether a given asset
has been recruited for racing, dressage, or breeding purposes.
●
I enjoy extremely
short walks on the beach. – Navy SEAL personal ad, US military dating
site
● A valuable step
in one’s career development is learning to see co-workers from new
perspectives (for example, this ceiling air duct vent).
● You’d think
more mycologists would have a spirit fungus. ● Last night my wife and I had dinner at a
Chinese restaurant. When they brought us our fortune cookies, my fortune
had nothing but a skull and crossbones on it. My wife got scared, but I
think the fortune was just saying I have a lucky skeleton.
Executive
Intelligence Summary Once hope was the thing with feathers That perched inside the soul Now hope’s the thing that hovers
And fires
missiles by remote control
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