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The Covert Comic Weekly Intelligence Briefing
(Note: Cleared readers only, please.) Each of us has amazing powers hidden within ourselves – just in case we stop being docile and the government needs to perform a remote reset. ● As a CIA officer, I would never spy on US citizens. Give me a hot Venezolana from the Bolivarian National Intelligence Service to lie on top of, and I’ll conduct all operations from there. ● To post my essay on the uselessness of existence, I had to sign in to the philosophy blog as an existing user. ● Not only am I a conscientious objector, I even object in my sleep. ● ‘Parasitic host’ works both ways. Executive Intelligence Summary
Money isn’t everything – there also has to be stuff to buy.
I haven’t read The Man Who Never Was, but I’ve written it a few times. ● CI officer: If we told you, we’d have to kill you. Me: What if you don’t tell me? CI officer: You’ll be referred for security investigation, to include polygraph testing, for having asked in the first place. Me: … In that case, please go ahead and tell me. ● Trying to stay ane in an inane world. ● Anyone who’s ever driven in LA knows there’s no actual way to come straight outta Compton. ● Studious? I suppose I can breed as well as the next guy. Spaiku A matter of life And death? In the greater sense
Isn’t everything?
Historically, US interventionism has rarely
succeeded, with most foreign governments experiencing a relapse in
substance abuse within less than 5 years.
● Benjamin
Franklin said that if his valet was a spy, he wouldn’t fire him if he
was a good valet. As a CIA case officer, I say that if my spy isn’t a
good valet, he doesn’t get recruited in the first place.
●
It must feel good having your own fishing show on TV, knowing you’re
feeding all those millions of people for a lifetime. ● Ask not for whom the bell tolls, unless the
bell is actually tolling. ● A simmering broth And a brothel Need a skimmer for the froth Both’ll!
Executive
Intelligence Summary
Tell me more
about this ‘consciousness.’
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