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Weekly Intelligence Briefing

(Note: Cleared readers only, please.)

America's Central Intelligence Agency. If not officially not us, then officially not who?

● Joining the CIA required that I reconcile my religious beliefs with practices like deception, bribery and blackmail. Fortunately, deception, bribery and blackmail turned out to be religious too.

● Gangsta rap artists call it ‘the hood’ in order to avoid stirring up the ‘neighbor’ vs ‘neighbour’ spelling debate.

● He that hath Super Friends must show himself super friendly. – Proverbs 18:24

● Sorry for the typo – I actually meant to write ‘Don’t be a stranger.’ But yes, don’t asphyxiate people either.

Executive Intelligence Summary

Stress management? Every chance I get.

The problem with this invisibility cloak is that I can never find my invisibility dagger.

● Let’s just say he doesn’t suffer from shy bladder syndrome. – Commenting on whether a senior policymaker was the source of intelligence leaks

● Socialite n. A sociopath with half the calories.

● If ginormous is going to be a word, so should teenytesimal.

● They say self-delusion is sucking in your stomach when you step on the scale. But how else are you supposed to see the numbers???

Executive Intelligence Summary

I said my posts were life-affirming. I never said which phylum.

The mission is the creep.

● As a CIA officer I target assets, engage in classified operations, and every few years get a new cover, just like any other American.

● No doubt some legislators aren’t as straitlaced as they appear, but you can’t seriously tell me the entire US Congress is bicameral.

● If I’m no bigger than the things that annoy me, then I’m at least as big as whatever I annoy.

● The term is dopamine, not dopaours.

Executive Intelligence Summary

Oh what a tangled web we knit, when first we practice to bullsh*t.

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