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The Covert Comic Weekly Intelligence Briefing
(Note: Cleared readers only, please.)
They’re not just
‘HUMINT sources,’ they’re HUMINT beings.
●
I’ll need money, a dip
passport, and a good handheld weapon ... preferably a redhead.
– Ops report
● Insights Gained
from Studying the Wisdom of the East
1. Self is an
illusion.
2. To truly
learn, one must first unlearn.
3. Bruce Lee is
the worst actor in the history of the universe. 3a. If there are infinite universes, Bruce Lee
is the worst actor in those universes too. ● I call bullsh*t – but I keep getting
bullsh*t’s voicemail. ● If you don’t resonate with it, maybe you just
need to be struck a little harder with the mallet.
Executive
Intelligence Summary
– From PostTopSecret
SpookSpeak. Briefer’s grief n. Anxiety after providing a briefing, typically due to concerns that important details might have been inadvertently omitted or insufficiently emphasized, or that one may have accidentally briefed the wrong room. ● I know this deposed minister of internal security is wanted by the International Court of Justice. However, he’s my emotional support deposed minister of internal security. – [Context classified] ● So if you win a playoff game, you’re not allowed to go home??? ● The value of keeping one’s finger on the pulse of public opinion depends on where the blood vessel is located. ● Rhythm & blues: when natural family planning goes wrong. Again.
Executive
Intelligence Summary
Just because the enemy of my enemy is my friend doesn’t mean I’m not sharing information about my friend with my enemy. ● There was a young woman who swallowed a spy I can neither confirm nor deny Why she swallowed a spy
Maybe she’s CI ● The upside of Judgment Day: assuming it begins at midnight, it should be mostly over by noon. ● I only have one hackle, but you’ll be impressed when I get it up. ● Ladies and gentlemen, please put your hands together for our next guest … and leave them there. – Introducing Pope Leo XIV on American TV Executive Intelligence Summary
Ceci n’est pas
une pipe. C’est un crowbar.
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